Only two episodes to go! In most seasons, the penultimate episode has been a barnburner, so I’m pretty pumped for next week. Although I have fantasy football drafts scheduled for an hour before the next two episodes. I’m probably going to autodraft if they take more than an hour. But I digress. You aren’t here to listen to my fantasy football related dilemma, you’re here for power rankings:
1. House Targaryen (Last Week, #1)
No question about it – Daenerys has won the war against Cersei before it even started. I don’t fault her for executing the Tarleys either, since she gave Randyll a clear choice and then Dickon practically volunteered to be executed. Randyll betrayed his prior liege-lord based on little more than xenophobia after all, and Daenerys still gave him a chance to live. It seems he forgot that he served Daenerys’ father during Robert’s Rebellion.
2. House Stark (Last Week, #3)
While the episode focused in on Jon leading a ragtag group worthy of an old western or Kurosawa movie, we also learned that he is the true king of Westeros, his father having married his mother and all. I’m a little concerned about Littlefinger’s treachery, but the show can only delay the Stark women for so long on a subplot with such an obvious solution. Heads, spikes, walls.
3. The White Walkers (Last Week, #4)
Ice zombies? These silly northmen. They’re just like some dead idiot that only we know or care about here in our ivory tower.
4. The Night’s Watch (Last Week, #6)
I would get out of there too Sam. I’m not thrilled with Sam’s whining, especially when his life-partner is revealing very important information to him, but it kind of fits his character.
5. House Baratheon (Last Week, NR)
Yay! Gendry’s back! Yes I know that’s Stannis’ sigil but I’m not making another one. After all, Gendry could become a wight next week.
6. House Lannister (Last Week, #8)
A little realpolitik goes a long way this week for House Lannister. Outgunned and outmanned, and maybe having a future after all, Cersei is starting to think of a better strategy than going right into the dragon’s mouth.
7. House Greyjoy (Last Week, #5)
The utility of the crazy pirate storyline is fast coming to an end. Next time we see Euron he might be getting his head chopped off.
8. The Brotherhood without Banners (Last Week, NR)
Out of Jon’s team of merry men, Thoros and Beric seem to be the obvious candidates for casualties. Beric is dead already and Thoros really doesn’t add all that much to the story. If the Hound bites it we’re denied Clegane-bowl, but I wouldn’t put that past the show’s writers either.
Also receiving votes: House Arryn, the Dothraki, the Wildlings, Ser Pounce, dragon-love, lion-love, fermented crab-love, and warhammers.
(c) 2017 D.G. McCabe