Westworld Robot Apocalypse Watch: Season One, Episodes 1-2

After yesterday’s article, I had considered writing about more shows that I’ve kicked to the curb, but what fun is that?  Instead, I’m going to write about HBO’s newest reason not to drop your subscription after Game of Thrones ends – Westworld.

As anyone who knows about the original movie Westworld (1973) or the Simpsons episode inspired by it (Season Six’s “Itchy and Scratchy Land”), no good can come of putting semi-sentient robots in a giant amusement park.  The robot apocalypse is nigh, but what are the seven signs?  Whom are the four horsemen?  For ease of write-ups, I’ll go with four horsemen: Robot Sentience, Incompetent Staff, Creator Hubris, and Guest Interference, each with seven seals foretelling their arrival.  Be warned!

Robot Sentience

Two episodes in and a couple of the robots are starting to figure things out.  Dolores (Evan Rachel Wood) is doing a better job of hiding it than her previous “father” robot or madam robot Maeve (Thandie Newton).  On the one hand, not many of the robots are getting wise.  On the other hand, Dolores is the oldest robot in the park and therefore has the most potential to lead a “kill all humans,” Cylon-style uprising once she starts remembering all the horrifying crap her creators have put her through.

Status: One seal broken.  Not enough robots have gotten wise to the game.

Incompetent Staff

How much do you want to bet those two geniuses who were working on Maeve fail to report what happened?  I mean, you’d think the trail of robot blood (can we call it blood?) would give them away, but considering the number of morons that seem to be working behind the scenes, this is anyone’s guess.

Status: One seal broken.  Mistakes have been made, but nothing catastrophic as of yet.

Creator Hubris

Ah Sir Anthony Hopkins, what gravitas you bring to the role of Dr. Robert Ford, the creator of Westworld.  Dr. Ford apparently has never  read the dozens of stories where the creator of robots goes too far and causes nothing but mayhem.  Then again, he did nix the hyper-violent “Odyssey on Red River,” so there’s that.

Status: four seals broken.  This guy is already too far down the line.

Guest Interference

The guests tend to be either 1) drunk bros with way to much money and a murderous streak, 2) people reluctantly dragged along, or 3) Ed Harris’s sadistic “Man in Black.”  So far the bros aren’t too much of a problem.  The Man in Black on the other hand is getting bored of the typical Westworld experience and is searching for a secret maze.

Status: Two seals broken.  No good can come of secret mazes.

(c) 2016 D.G. McCabe