We’re a day late due to the holiday weekend. In any event this week was what they call a “table-setting episode.” And by “they” I mean TV critics with a soft spot for annoying cliches. Anyway, power rankings:
1. The Faith of the Seven/Faith Militant/Sparrows (Last Week, #3)
The High Sparrow’s journey from barefoot commoner to power behind the Iron Throne would be more inspiring if he weren’t a sanctimonious tosser. He’s been one step ahead of everyone in King’s Landing this season. We’ll see if this continues once everyone has finally stopped underestimating him.
2. House Targaryen (Last Week, #1)
Does anyone besides Daenerys even want the Iron Throne anymore? And if she does get there, who’s going to help temper her more bloodthirsty urges? It certainly won’t be the thousands of Dothraki that have sworn to kill her enemies and tear down their castles.
3. House Tully (Last Week, #8)
Who here really thinks that the Blackfish is going to be cowed because Walder Frey has his nephew? The Blackfish doesn’t even like his nephew. Anyway, the Tullys move up a few spots this week by virtue of just making some moves already.
4. House Stark (Last Week, #6)
Thanks to deus ex Benjen, Bran and Meera live to fight another day. Arya may be in a bit of trouble, but The Faceless Men are such hypocrites that who knows what they really have in mind. For all their talk of serving the many-faced-god, they are essentially paid mercenaries and hitmen.
5. The Others/White Walkers (Last Week, #1)
C’mon horde of the dead. You had ONE job. The Night’s King has got to be wondering how many more allies are going to come out of the woodwork to protect Bran.
6. The Night’s Watch (Last Week, NR)
Oh a Valyrian Steel sword, how nice of you. And lying around for me to take and use on White Walkers! Thanks! Now that’s settled, please inform my brother that he is a sweet summer child for thinking that the White Walkers aren’t coming to kill him and turn him into a zombie.
7. House Bolton (Last Week, #5)
Thankfully we’ve been spared a couple of weeks of the show pointlessly reminding us that Ramsay is a crazy person with a lot of power. I’m confident Jon and Sansa will deal with him eventually, but will it be fast enough? Winter is coming, after all.
8. House Lannister (Last Week, #4)
It’s safe to say that the Lannister/Tyrell alliance’s reunion will prove to be short lived after that debacle this week. Jaime may be complaining now, but getting away from his nihilist sister is probably the best thing for him right now.
Also receiving votes: The Meereenese, House Lannister in Exile, House Tyrell, House Arryn, House Martell, House Tarly, House Greyjoy, Ser Pounce, Nymeria the Direwolf, the Faceless Men, Slapping, Belching, and Farting.
(c) 2016 D.G. McCabe