I have to admit, I have no idea what to make of the power struggle in Westeros and Essos right now. Let’s try and decipher this mess with some power rankings, shall we?
1. The Faith of the Seven/Sparrows/Faith Militant (Last Week, #5)
The High Sparrow is somewhat easily manipulating Tommen. He still has Margaery and Loras in handcuffs. The Small Council doesn’t seem to be in any rush to do anything about either situation. While the Lannister twins have an undead monster at their command, the ex-Ser Gregor can’t overpower ALL the Sparrows. Sure, like a group of teenagers fighting Mike Tyson, some would go down pretty fast, but there are so, so many and they’re so, so fanatical.
2. The Dothraki (Last Week, #9)
Maybe I decided to drop these guys down a bit too soon. They have Daenerys in some temple of mafia widows and Drogon is nowhere to be found.
3. House Bolton (Last Week, #7)
Speaking of having valuable hostages, Ramsay now has Rickon in his grasp. He’s essentially a super-villain at this point, so The Seven knows what the hell he has in mind for the youngest Stark.
4. The Meereenese (Last Week, NR)
Sometimes all you need are bunch of angry slaving scumbags funding your mini rebellion. Tyrion’s skills may be considerable, but one city tearing itself apart is not going to fare well against three armies.
5. The Others/White Walkers (Last Week, NR)
6. House Lannister (Last Week, #3)
You’ll notice this week that none of the usual Power Ranking suspects are in the top five. No Starks, Lannisters (In Exile or No), Targaryens, or Tyrells. Of these “great” houses, the Lannisters have at least some claim to power at the moment. Undead monsters can only go so far, however.
7. House Lannister in Exile (Last Week, #4)
Tyrion might be screwed, but at least he’s making progress. He’s no longer clueless about how screwed he really is.
8. House Tyrell (Last Week, NR)
Even with their scions in prison, the Tyrells still know how to wield their influence. I just don’t see them accomplishing very much by doing so at the moment.
Who is Jon Snow? He’s asking himself the same question. Apparently, he has discovered that the only reality is the one where little kids murder him for doing the right thing. Before, he was ready to try and save humanity from the White Walkers. Now, he might be questioning whether or not humanity deserves to be saved at all. Hopefully, by taking advantage of a loophole in his Night’s Watch vows, he can figure it all out before it’s too late. As for the other members of House Stark, it was a mixed bag ranging from horror to being teased with important revelations.
10. House Targaryen (Last Week, #10)
Um, Drogon old buddy, this might be a good time to quit whatever you’re doing and get up to Vaes Dothrak. Your mother could really use a little fire and blood right now.
Also receiving votes: House Martell, House Greyjoy, House Tully, House Arryn, The Free Folk, The Night’s Watch, Ser Pounce, House Tarly, the real housewives of Vaes Dothrak, sea puking in front of your girlfriend, and you know nothingness, Jon Snow.
(c) 2016 D.G. McCabe