Well. As foretold last week the crap hit the fan this week. One bloody shootout, one butcher shop brawl, and one future President. Anyway, top ten:
10. Reagan at War
Why did you bother asking about a real war when all you had was movie anecdotes to share? Besides, couldn’t he have told him a story about the homefront or something? Sheesh.
9. The “Butcher of Luverne”
I mean, look at Ed. One look and the whole hitman thing kind of goes out the door. Then again he did just kill a guy with a meat cleaver. So there’s that.
I know the line about not shaking Reagan’s hand was from the previews, but it was pretty hilarious how quickly that turned around.
7. Take My Car! Please!
No. That’s not fishy at all. Buying a car for half price from a crazy lady on a whim. What could possibly go wrong?
6. UFO’s in Pictures
There’s something uniquely unsettling about children’s drawings featuring UFO’s.
5. At Least it’s Not the Sugar Pill
Or maybe it is – nausea is a symptom too. In any event it’s not looking good for Mrs. Solverson.
4. Camus Can Do
But Sartre is smartre.
3. Somebody Start a Head in a Box Mashup
For I neither have time nor skill to do so.
2. You Can Do Anything
For you are an American. Just don’t ask me how.
1. Let’s Get Out of Here
For the world is hollow and I have touched the sky. Oh wait, that’s a Star Trek episode. Got carried away there. Anyway one minute before leaving, and here come the cops. And next week, here comes all hell breaking loose.
(c) 2015 D.G. McCabe