Episode two, wherein everyone is looking for the dead guy. Oh Rye Gerhardt is dead, so very, very dead. Anyway, let’s jump into our top ten most bizarre moments of the week:
10. Floor Fingers
Who else is doubtful that Ed (Jesse Plemmons) will find all of those fingers? I predict one or two turn up later in the season.
9. Blue Eye Shadow
It’s everywhere! Old ladies, young ladies, I think even that dog in the first scene.
8. Fun Dog Food
Speaking of which, that dog got a nice treat, right? I mean, human ears don’t have much meat or nutritional value, but yum, yum, right?
7. Eat this Bread
C’mon. Share some bread with your momma. Sure it looks like a hard, lumpy monstrosity, but it’s delicious. Also, I’m in charge. Don’t forget that.
6. Toilet Paper Theft is a Huge Turn-On
Oh yeah, steal that toilet paper, you dirty girl. Imagine what she’d do if she found out about the frozen gangster corpse.
5. Never Trust a Sea Creature
Can’t eat those clams. It’ll make you sick. And by clams I mean don’t marry a psychopath who will make you dispose of a dead gangster and then call in sick.
4. Everyone Really Wants that Dead Gangster
We now embark upon our pointless chase for Rye Gerhardt. First, we should check our local frozen food aisle…
3. Tie Paper
Need to intimidate a schmuck and write a complaint letter at the same time? Look no further than authentic, 100% tie paper. Guaranteed to reveal absolutely no useful information whatsoever!
2. What’s Your Shoe-size?
Easily the weirdest “show-down” line ever uttered on television. It was a great scene though, and Bokeem Woodbine was great all episode as Mike Milligan.
1. Molly Solverson
As they say on The Wire, Molly Solverson is already a real murder police. She’s finding murder weapons while she’s still in diapers!
(c) 2015 D.G. McCabe