The title of “the Gift” refers to Lord Friend-Zone giving his unrequited beloved a wonderful present – a drunken smartass. We, the audience know that Tyrion will be incredibly helpful to Daenerys, but this is not plain to see. Anyway, power rankings:
1. The Faith of the Seven (Last Week – #3)
Never trust a religious fanatic to do your dirty work. You never know when everything he’s done so far has been an elaborate trap. One key theory from the books is that the High Sparrow has other motivations besides his faith, but I’ve said too much about that already.
2. House Targaryen (Last Week – #1)
Of the protagonist houses, Daenerys and her group seem to be doing okay at the moment. Especially since there might be a potential merger in the works with…
3. House Lannister in Exile (Last Week – #8)
Tyrion Lannister. We’ll see how Daenerys reacts to her new “gift” next week, but knowing Tyrion he’ll quickly make himself useful and fit right into Daenerys’ group of advisors.
4. House Martell (Last Week – #2)
It’s still not entirely clear where the show is headed with the re-vamped Dorne storyline. What remains clear is the Doran is consistently and thoroughly running the show, which can’t be said about anyone anywhere else at the moment.
5. House Arryn (Last Week – #5)
Littlefinger of course thinks that he’s in charge of a lot of different people. His sex palace isn’t faring so well however, and until he gets out of King’s Landing he’s in trouble.
6. House Bolton (Last Week – #9)
The snow is helping the most despised group in all of Westeros right now. That’s unfortunate.
7. House Baratheon (Last Week – #6)
Things looked at lot better for Stannis last week. Now he’s got a horrifying dilemma on his hands. Fates change quickly in the Game of Thrones.
8. The Night’s Watch (Last Week – NR)
At least Jon is trying to do something creative. Ultimately doomed? Maybe. But it’s better than just waiting around for the zombies to come and attack.
9. House Stark (Last Week – #7)
What exactly is Brienne of Tarth’s plan? Storm in there like John Cleese’s Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail? If it weren’t for Arya House Stark would be dropped from the countdown.
10. House Lannister (Last Week – #4)
It could be worse. Doran could have thrown Jaime into a dirty cell like he did his own nieces. That’s all I got.
Also receiving votes: House Tyrell, House Greyjoy, the Free Folk, the White Walkers, the Meereenese, Ser Pounce, Littlefingers’ House of Very Ill Repute (RIP), crazy Dornish women, that guy who Tyrion beats with a chain, Ghost, and winter (finally) coming.
(c) 2015 D.G. McCabe