By D.G. McCabe
The aftermath of the Purple Wedding is still developing, but no matter what incest-Lannister sits the Iron Throne, the real ruler of Westeros is chaos. Meanwhile, the Mother of Dragons is poised to sack another city of perfumed slavers.
1. House Targaryen (Last Week – #1)
Daenerys is not in Westeros, so she doesn’t have to deal with the war torn Riverlands, imperiled North, wheel-spinning Dragonstoners, or Lannisters. She also has catapults, dragons, and a healthy sense of propaganda.
2. House Baelish (Last Week – Unranked)
Who’s your puppet master now Westeros? Who’s your puppet master now?
3. House Lannister (Last Week – #4)
Tywin already has his hooks into poor Tommen. Things are looking bad for Tyrion, and much ink has already been spilled on the Jaime/Cersei scene from this week. I’m waiting on next week’s episode to play out before passing judgment on it vis-a-vis its portrayal in the books.
4. House Tyrell (Last Week – #2)
The Lannisters still need House Tyrell, and the Lord Oaf of Highgarden will be sealing Tyrion’s fate. Along with…
5. House Martell (Last Week – #3)
The Red Viper of Dorne, who seems contented at the moment. Man I wish we didn’t have to wait until next season for more Dornish!
6. House Greyjoy (Last Week – #5)
Even Lord Tywin is starting to get nervous about the Ironborn controlling vast swaths of the North.
7. House Baratheon (Last Week – #7)
Holding steady (pun intended) this week at #7 – Stannis is still being all pissed off on Dragonstone. Luckily for him, Sir Davos remembers that the Iron Bank always gets its due.
8. The Free People (Last Week – #9)
Now you see why the Night’s Watch sends rangers out into the frozen abyss to fight these guys.
9. The Night’s Watch (Last Week – #9)
The Free Folk have the upper hand at the moment, but at least the boys in black have chicken. The Hound would be happy.
10. House Stark (Last Week – #8)
I toyed with dropping the Starks from the rankings this week. I couldn’t bring myself to do it because they really aren’t in bad shape at the moment.
Also receiving votes: House Bolton, House Tully, House Arryn, The Meereenese, The Yunkai’i, The Others, a complete lack of human decency, honest work for honest pay, and dumb horses.
(c) 2014 D.G. McCabe