By D.G. McCabe
I’ve finished all of the books so far, so I knew what was going to happen last night. I’ve had to bite my tongue for several weeks when show-only fans would comment “I hope Joffrey dies,” knowing that the Purple Wedding was coming, and soon. George R. R. Martin himself wrote the episode last night, and it was fantastic.
1. House Targaryen (Last Week – #3)
An idle week for the Mother of Dragons. And by idle I mean getting more and more angry. From previews it looks like more Fire and Blood next week from our bleach-blonde heroine.
2. House Tyrell (Last Week – #2)
Lady Margaery doesn’t have to marry Joffrey after all. Now that her father, Mace Tyrell, better known to viewers as “The Lord Oaf of Highgarden,” has arrived in King’s Landing, the Tyrells aren’t going anywhere.
3. House Martell (Last Week – #4)
What did Prince Oberyn do this week? He was just being awesome – that’s all he needs to do to move his house up a slot.
4. House Lannister (Last Week – #1)
The Lannisters are still in charge, having two more Jaime/Cersei lovechildren to go through before losing the throne. However, this week was a not-so-subtle reminder that even they are vulnerable.
5. House Greyjoy (Last Week – #8)
The show finally reminds us that the Greyjoys are the true wardens of the north at the moment. The Rooster has some work to do.
6. House Bolton (Last Week – #5)
As Ramsey told Roose, he has Theon well “trained.” We’ll see who’s right about how useful that is, father psycho or son really-really psycho.
7. House Baratheon (Last Week – #7)
Well, at least Stannis can burn his allies. Because that’s totally a great idea.
8. House Stark (Last Week – #6)
Little does Roose Bolton know that Bran Stark is beyond his reach. Rickon probably is at this point too.
9 (Tie). The Night’s Watch (Last Week – #9), The Free People (Last Week – #10)
No news from the impending battle royale of the North this week. Stay tuned everyone!
Also receiving votes: House Tully, House Arryn, The Others, The Meereenese, The Yunkai’i, pigeon pie, dead pigeon pie, and dead Joffrey filled with dead pigeon pie.
(c) 2014 D.G. McCabe