Game of Thrones Season 3, Episode 9 House/Order Power Rankings

By D.G. McCabe

And who are you, the proud lord said,
that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat,
that’s all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red,
a lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord,
as long and sharp as yours.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
that lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o’er his hall,
with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o’er his hall,
and not a soul to hear.

1. House Lannister (Last Week – #2)

This, my non-book reading friends, is what Tywin Lannister is writing all of those letters for.  As is his wont, he will say “Oh Lord Frey did that,” but you know this is his work.

2. House Frey (Last Week – NR)

The only consolation is that winter is coming, and the North remembers.  Also there are a shitload of these bastards and their war torn lands don’t have a lot of crops left, so more than a few will starve to death.

3. House Targaryen (Last Week – #1)

When you read “A Storm of Swords,” the Dany chapters seem kind of out of place.  It has a feeling of “meanwhile, back in Essos, the Mother of Dragons is about to sack another city you haven’t heard mentioned of before.”  This episode captured that feeling.

4. The Night’s Watch (Last Week – #3)

Jon is on his way back, just ahead of Mance Rayder’s army.  Meanwhile, Sam has actually gotten to the wall.  Good week for the boys in black.

5. House Tyrell (Last Week – #7)

No one from House Tyrell was in harm’s way this week.  And that’s a win.

6. House Bolton (Last Week – NR)

Up yours Roose Bolton!  What do they do with traitorous roosters?  They chop their heads off and boil them in a pot, which is more than you deserve.  That is all.

7. The Free People (Last Week – #4)

Jon is on his way back to the Wall.  Poor Ygritte.

8. House Stark (Last Week – #6)

So, how about that Bran Stark!

Also receiving votes: House Baratheon, House Greyjoy, The Brotherhood without Banners, House Tully, pig sellers, city guards, and old horse breeders.

(c) 2013 D.G. McCabe